Thursday, July 16, 2009

Apologies, Timeout & Giving Power

Now that I am back, I want to deal with some past issues before moving forward.

First, I want to apologize to the people I offended with my June 24th posting. It was insensitive and wrong of me to violate that well written and touching eulogy by linking my comments to it. I realize this now and will try to be more sensitive in the future.

Second, I apologize to anyone who may have taken offense at this comment. "The irony is I truly would have been happy enrolling my kids in ZLE, PLE, Sonnesyn or Sunny Hollow. To me they are all good schools with caring staff and parents." Someone close to me mentioned that this may be perceived as an insult to the other RAS elementary schools. The reality is I know little or nothing about the other elementaries, so I was not willing to commit to them in writing without further research. (cliques link)(ie integrity principle) Whereas I am familiar with these schools and communities, and was certain I would have moved the kids without hesitation if ZLE had been closed.

Third, why a timeout? After my insensitive remarks, a group of people reacted very intensely and this made me very angry, frustrated, sad, etc. Therefore I self imposed a one month time out to ensure I honored my principles, did not say anything inappropriate, escalate the situation further, etc. It gave me some time to manage through those feelings before going back to posting.

Fourth, this gave me a chance to further reflect on the concept of "giving power" away to others. The reality is that others will sometimes say or do things that we disagree with. The questions are then:

  • How are we going to let it affect us personally?
  • Will we allow their words or actions to hijack our emotions, thoughts, actions and behaviors?
  • Or will we remain in control of ourselves?

The reality is that making the choice to not give others control is hard, especially when we are anxious, tired, worn down, etc. Simple examples:

  • Staying calm when the kids misbehave at the end of busy day.
  • Maintaining a calm dialogue when your spouse brings up a sensitive topic.
  • Continuing rational discussion while you believe you are being criticized or threatened.

In hindsight, I freely gave away far to much of my personal power when I let my critics cause me so much concern. And I believe they gave me far to much power when they let my comments cause so much angst.

The reality is I am one guy who is trying to make a difference by:

  • raising topics that are not always too popular or comfortable
  • challenging paradigms and belief systems through polite debate and dialogue
  • challenging other bloggers that sometimes stray from the facts and data
  • encouraging learning, self awareness and community involvement
  • distributing some of the things I have learned over the years.

Since, I am going to continue to do this.

  • If you dislike the blog or blogger, please keep your power by not reading it. I have no interest in working people into a frenzy or causing strife in our local schools. I truly respect your right to believe what you choose. It is the great thing about America.

  • If you like the topics, challenging ideas and open dialogue of this blog, tell your friends and actively participate often!!!! Only by listening with an open mind and freely sharing our beliefs and rationale can we hope to understand each other.

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