Friday, April 17, 2009

Conflict and Collusion

This concept comes from my favorite "improvement" books. "The Anatomy of Peace" and "Leadership and Self Deception" by Arbinger. The reason I value the model so much is that it:
  • demands we evaluate our role and responsibility in any conflict
  • challenges us to contemplate our beliefs and become more self aware
  • offers solutions to any conflict and can be created quickly with little effort
  • The key to resolving conflict is to focus on "how your beliefs and actions are creating and escalating it".
  • This is because you can only change yourself, not the other party.

More on conflict resolution tomorrow. Thoughts on the collusion model ?


Christine said...

This model works very well for my personal relationships.
As far as my dealings with the District 281, it would indicate that my only option to solve the problem would to leave the district. I can't keep banging my head against the wall.

John said...

Another option is to ask the questions. Is the head beating worth it? Are the other schools that I am resisting as bad as I think? How do I see the silver lining in what I currently perceive as a cloud?

My opinion is Parents are so much more important than schools... The reality is the kids only spend ~30 hrs per week in the school, far less than at home.

Christine said...

Honestly, kids spend more waking hours at school than they do interacting with parents. So while I'm the most important influence, school is still huge.

Does anyone really think that a kid has the same type of classroom experience at Meadow Lake as they do at Zachary?

I'm tired of the school board telling me that all 281 schools are wonderful, and blaming low test scores on the children, citing "mobility issues" and poverty. That's not good enough.

Christine said...

And if one more person tells me that Sonnesyn will be better once the Plymouth kids move in, I will scream. I wish some New Hope parents would go give the school board an earful.

John said...

I agree with you. The Board, Administration, Principals and Teachers all feel compelled to say only good things about all their schools. What would you do in their position ?

My advice is to contact the active Parents at the schools and talk to them. They will happily tell you the good, the bad and the ugly... People love to talk about themselves and their lives / situation.

Remember similar facilities, similar curriculum, similar Teachers, and some active/caring Families. It is primarily the student body that varies from school to school...